Ghosts of gf's past, Hannah Montana and P.S I Love You r shows we nv get to watch. I've forgotten since when u actually gt sick of gg out n watching movies with me, nt to even mention shopping.

P.S I Love You truly touches me.

Again, everything u've done, everything u think no one knows, i do. Pls, im nt a fool. U'd always ensure tt u hav many women in ur life at one time. And it just disgust me more.

Everything u have done, everything u think no one knows, i do.

Pls, im nt a fool.

And it just disgusts me more.

What if..

What if there is no what if?

I finally got the explanation which I have all along wanted. You told me you were actually sick and tired of the rs then, which is why u kept going to nightclubs and flirted with all the different girls. You did not want to end the rs as and then bcus u were afraid that u might make the wrong decision, on top of the fact that u witnessed how hurt I was when I was crying and salvaging the rs.
 
Everytime I think about how sad I was when I knew about u going to nightclub again, I feel like crying. It was obviously u who had gone off the rails, I should have been real pissed off and left. But I didnt. Instead, I came back to u countless times to demand an explanation. An explanation which u dont even bother to give. Told me to keep my doubts and questions to myself if I wanted the rs back.

I am a smart girl, at least I believe. But to keep u and our rs with me, I chose to keep quiet in order to stay with you.
 
It's a 2yrs rs we are talking about here. You have already become part of my life and your house is practically my 2nd home. I used to tell aiying that we are more like husband and wife compared to Edmund and her. Everything we have been through, the littlest things we do tgt, make our rs more wholesome than anyone else's. This is something money cant buy, I am sure.

Finally, I decided to leave, once and for all. I had a very bad fall. I have lost the will to do anything. Study, life and everything else. Nothing else seems to matter anymore.

I am sure that it's not bcus of junming that I do not want to get back with you. I need to learn to trust again. And I know I could never trust you again. I trusted you wholeheartedly and you failed me everytime.

Still, I forgive you. For all the love you have given me, I forgive u. Forgiveness does not erase the past, but it does help us to embrace the future with more love and courage.

I wish you luck and happiness in everything you do from now. Take care.

I am on my way to find myself back again.

I miss you. Please take care.

I love you dear. When can my heart stop bleeding? When will you stop flirting?

I am disappointed. I dont know what are u doing all these for.

It's almost like a routine thing, with the same person. Going to bed with him and waking up to him have become a habit; a habit that im strongly addicted to. A kiss on the forehead with 'good night' and saying sweetly "good morning' even though u're annoyed by the fact that u're up from your beauty sleep, means everything in the world. To say, 'if there's someone i'd give the world up for, it's you', is most apt for us.

To tell anyone that i've gotten over him, it's a lie. Or maybe i haven even embark on that route yet.

A quiz said im a person with depth, but also an escapist. But who wouldnt wanna escape from reality when dealt with a situation like that?

It is excruciating to witness change in a person. Some change for the better, some dont. Whatever happens, we learn to compromise and adapt, in the name of love. But what's love exactly? Is it pining for someone every min, even when he's beside you or is it sacrificing lust and everything else for him?

I miss you, and I miss us. I miss you even when u're physically beside me, for I know that u're no longer here with me wholeheartedly, and it hurts. Thus, if one day u happen to reminisce about us in the past, pls bear in mind that I miss us too. It is not easy to forgo such nostalgic memories.

I fear, fear the day when my love for u completely diminishes. Everything about us was so beautiful.

Someone asked me, "Why is it that you and him are no longer tgt? You guys were so sweet and loving!"

To leave us all behind is tantamount to not think about us anymore. I fear.

I am weary. I just wanna escape and take a break.

Im crying as im reading his blog post last yr. He injured my eye on 4th Oct, we broke up and he created the blog. He was so sincere then. 

He mentioned about the hols plans i had for us last yr. Still, we did not realise the plans this yr. 

I miss his old self. Violent but sincere, fierce but faithful, temperamental but truthful. 

But I'll never have him back. Never. 

What if time is not the cure?

My heart seems to be bleeding.